It's June already.

I started University this year and I have just finished my first semester. If you asked me to describe how I felt about Uni a few months ago my answer would have been this: "It feels as though I have jumped into the deep end of the water without a floatation device and I haven't quite discovered whether or not I can swim". However, I have now discovered I can indeed swim and I am loving it. I wouldn't say it is easy, but it is worth it. The best feeling is knowing that I am extending myself as a person, constantly learning and gaining new knowledge, provoking my natural interest and refining my abilities.

I have also moved in and am now living with Aaron, my gorgeous boyfriend of almost four years. It's amazing. I was terrified the first few weeks and was unsure if it would work out, but I am now settled in and am honestly happy. I still cannot believe how much I love that boy. He makes my soul dance, and my heart sing a beautiful melody... I look into his eyes and I see my future staring back at me.

Mama and Daddy have been amazing this year, they have offered me so much love and support through all of my endevours and have been an inspiration. I still feel that I can talk to them both more openly than anyone else and absolutely cherish the time I have with them. I was blessed to have a family with such strength, passion and courage and try every single day to carry not only those traits around with me, but to carry both of their spirits with me as well.


...


So I was thinking the other day about my personality and the emotions and attributes I possess. I discovered I have four different personalities for four different groups of people. I thought this may be interesting to share.

The composed Jade (70%)
This is the most common personality, 65% of people get this Jade. This is where I am composed, appear strong and independent yet stand off-ish and shy. I am mysterious and very hard to get to, I would describe it as trying to talk to someone through a fly mesh door. I do not feel the need for company, meaning I don't seek it, however I enjoy it if company finds me.

The natural Jade (20%)
This is the me I show to people I trust and enjoy spending time with. These people get the playful, happy, honest, caring, trustworthy, witty and free spirited Jade. I love to joke and go a little nuts. Yet still remain elegant and intelligent.

The loving Jade (5%)
This is the side of me that is loyal and extremely loving and protective. These people also get the natural Jade... with sprinkles on top. These are the people I would die for and who mean the absolute world to me. However these people may also witness the sad, emotional, insecure and confused part of me on occasion.

The hateful Jade (5%)
These people get pretty much nothing from me. I have pushed them aside for a reason. These people usually will not recieve forgiveness.

So there we go. That is my in depth look at myself.

I will leave it here for now.

xxx

25 things.

So there is this thread going around facebook where you are required to post 25 things about yourself. It can be facts, memories, goals... or anything you like. I thought hard about this and wanted to see what I could come up with. Though I do not want everyone on Facebook to view this I believe it would be an interesting addition to my blog. So here it goes.

1. I am allergic to lavender (The smell causes me to get very bad migraines). Two reasons why this is very annoying? a) I love the colour purple but unfortunately almost everything in the cosmetic isle in this colour is lavender scented. b) I do suffer from migraines and many of the natural remedies for migraines contain lavender as it is meant to relieve the pain.

2. I love to cook. If I am bored I will often convince people to allow me to cook them food.

3. I detest artificial banana flavour (and am not too keen on bananas either). If I buy a packet of lollies and it contains a lolly which is yellow in colour I will make someone else try it before I go near it. I also love clinkers chocolate, I will bite the end of to see what colour it is inside, if it is yellow I will throw it in the bin (I also believe a packet of clinkers contains ½ yellow, ¼ pink and ¼ green clinkers just to piss me off).

4. I have had the same best friend my entire life, since I am an only child I now do think of her as my sister. I would die for her in a heartbeat.

5. I love to write and am a perfectionist when it comes to handwriting. When I was in school I would sometimes write a report anywhere between three to seven pages long before realising my writing was somewhat messy and starting again. I am slowly getting over this. My boyfriend of three and a bit years has received more than 50 letters from me as this is one of the ways I show affection to others.

6. My parents were going to name me India, China, Jade or Maddison, for years I wished they had named me China and absolutely hated my name.

7. I have never been on a plane or out of Western Australia for that matter, somehow this doesn't bother me the slightest.

8. I would prefer to read a book, write, draw or even just sit and think than to watch TV. I find it almost impossible to concentrate on a show I have no interest in and do not have a favorite program I 'just have to see' every week. I do enjoy movies but unless I am interested the same applies. I do watch the news most mornings and read the newspaper most weekends just so I know what is going on in the world around me.

9. I will never say 'I love you' unless I mean it.

10. I have a strawberry birthmark on my neck which I don't even notice is there anymore. It always surprises me when I meet someone for the first time and they make a comment about it.

11. I am scared of the dark but cannot sleep if there is a light on in the room. So every night I will close my eyes and turn off the lamp and will keep my eyes closed until it is back on again or the sun is up.

12. I do not feel the need to meet or talk to new people, however this does not mean I am not happy to... I will always wait for you to approach me first. It may also take a few meetings before I warm and open up to you, before this I will probably come across as uninterested or a bitch...

13. Since I started going out with Aaron I have never found another male physically or emotionally attractive (in that way) it is completely useless trying to have 'girly chats' or to check out boys with me... I just don't get it and will not participate.

14. I didn't feel any of my piercings being done and was very surprised when I was told 'it's all over'. Even so, I was terrified before each of them.

15. I used to love needles and even enjoyed getting my blood taken until about a year and a half ago when I passed out during the process. Now I will do whatever it takes to avoid the situation.

16. I cannot stand seeing birds in cages and do not understand the point of doing so. I also do not understand or agree with getting a dog and leaving he/she at home six to eight hours a day alone while you go to work. Therefore I don't agree with getting a pet unless you are willing to give them as much unconditional love and attention as they are willing to give to you. DO NOT BUY PETS AS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS... the novelty does wear off in many cases.

17. When I was younger I was able to see ghosts, I spent the day with my grandmother at her funeral. I haven't seen anything since I was around thirteen and am terrified of seeing one again.

18. My eyes change between green, hazel, brown and a yellowish/topaz colour depending on my emotional wellbeing.

19. The first time I ever spoke to Aaron on the internet I said to myself 'this is the boy I will spend the rest of my life with'. I was twelve at the time. We started dating just before my fifteenth birthday.

20. My dad and I have the same taste in music and have introduced each other to many new bands/artists. One of my favorite things to do is to go driving with him with the music up loud.

21. I have a very close bond with both of my parents and have never really felt the need to rebel against them. They have always understood me and allowed me to be who I needed to be at any given stage of my life. I love to just sit and chat to them both and can talk more openly and comfortably with them than anyone else.

22. I am extremely clumsy and uncoordinated. I usually try to focus on everything I do to avoid accidents (Like falling up/down stairs for example).

23. My favorite part of starting a new year of school, Tafe or University is stationary shopping... it's been like this since I started pre-primary.

24. I can't wait to get my tattoo and have had the design picked out for a few years now, however I don't know where on my body I would like to place it. Ideally I would love to have it on my wrist but people do not tend to employ teachers with body art... visible tattoo's reduce your chances of employment in many fields for that matter.

25. I am not religious but I do believe that there is something more than us out there. I haven't figured out what that is yet and I think that it may take for me to experience something (like the death of a family member for example) before I open up to the idea. I do believe however there is something after death... an after life, more because I cannot handle the thought of spending the rest of eternity in a box... nor can I handle the thought of my family and friends doing so either.

Oh wow! I guess it's update time.
I have a rather large sum of information and minimal space and time before I bore you to death. I will try to keep it short and sweet.
Perhaps we could try a report format with headings and such? Here we go...

TAFE/UNIVERSITY
Well, I have completed and passed my Certificate III in Children's services and am currently studying my Certificate IV which is only a six week course. I finish early December. I have applied to Edith Cowan University to study my Bachelor of education (Kindergarten to seven), I will find out if I am accepted late January/ early February. Very exiting indeed, I am a motivated and driven young lady eh?

FINALLY LEGAL
I turned eighteen this this month (17th October). How strange that no matter how old you technically become you don't feel any different mentally or emotionally... or physically for that matter. However eighteenth birthdays are meant to be the time when you are finally an adult and can experience ALL of life's guilty little pleasures, not me - I seem to have already seen most of what life has to offer and have 'been there and done that' and am now quite over most of it and am quite happy to get on with my life and focus on my future as opposed to exploring the many flavours of cocktails at the clubs and pubs.

AARON LOVE
Yes, Aaron and I celebrated our three year anniversary on the 18th September and are still very much in love and going stronger than ever. He is my past, present and my future. He was my knight in shining armor, who has become my prince and some day undoubtedly I will make him my King. I will forever love and cherish you.
<3

COOKING
Cooking is something I have always really enjoyed doing, it is not a chore to me at all. But only recently my beautiful Aaron has discovered my hidden talent. He now eats my home cooking on a regular basis as opposed to getting fast food. Our friends have also enjoyed diving into my dinners, snacks, desserts and pretty much anything I place before them. I love the feeling when someone really appreciates and complements my recipes, or when then repeatedly ask for me to whip something up on a weekend. I am the domestic goddess!!! haha.

FRIENDS
You gain some and you loose some, this is what life is about. The ones that matter stay close while the others fly away in search of greater things. I wish them all the luck in the world. For those who are still around, I cherish every moment spent with you and love you very much.

FAMILY
What can I say, Mama and Daddy are my rocks. They are my support when the world goes dark and I cannot find my way. I have the best relationship with my parents and adore them with all of my heart. I enjoy every conversation and every chance I get to spend with them. Though to many we may seem somewhat dysfunctional - This is where I came from, this is my home within my heart and the place I feel most comfortable. forever. I will never forget everything you have given me or taught me and I believe I will continue to learn from you for many years to come... Just know, no matter what, no one will every break our connection as a family, as friends and as guides through this life.

Caught up? Hopefully.
xxx

Just felt the need to do this... it cracks me up.
Around 2 years apart. Taken on the same bed sheets
enjoy.
xxx

(December 2006)

(May 2008)

Once again, Jade goes crazy with the photo shoot.
Anyways... new and very recent photo's
Taken 14th May 2008
(unedited) - Just for the record.
xxx

I guess everyone has one of these... it's more of a to do list - from my hopes to my dreams.
Things to do before I die. (in no particular order)

• Go skydiving and bungee jumping
  
• Learn the French language and visit Paris.
• Get married to the love of my life.
• Have a child.
• Become a wonderful teacher.
• Own a very expensive bag or pair of shoes.
  
• Learn to dance
• Do some charity work - even if it's only for one day.
• Go shopping or to dinner with my mum.
• See my dad surf again.
  
• Own a house.
• Always remember what it was like being young and sometimes stupid.
• Never loose myself in something I don't agree with
• Go scuba diving (because I'm terrified).
• Stay in touch with the ones I love.
• Own a puppy.
• Write something and get it published.
• Quit smoking.
• Go to movie world.
• Own a one of a kind beautiful piece of art.

I'll keep adding if I think of anything.

Once again it is time for my 'about me' post.
Everything from the insignificant to the important things about me.
Here we go...

• I have been with my gorgeous boyfriend Aaron for two and half years - I love him.
• My middle name is Maddison.
• I love fresh flowers in bright colours.
• I am studying Certificate III in Children's services at Tafe.
• I hope to go to University and study Primary school teaching.
• I have a cat named Moxie.
• My favorite words are Adore, Believe, Dream, Inspire and Forever.
• I have had the same best friend all my life.
  
• I am seventeen years old, eighteen in October this year.
• My star sign is Libra, but since I was born premature I believe I also have Scorpio qualities.
• I am very close to both of my parents - they mean the world to me.
  
• I live with my Parents, Nana and my boyfriend.
• I love ice cream and sorbet.
• I love all fruit and vegetables.
• My favorite colours are pink, red, champagne, purple and turquoise.
• I have an I.D bracelet from Aaron I NEVER take off.
• I have just recently started growing my nails.
• I will only wear silver jewelery.
• I have six ear piercings, a labret and a navel piercing.
• I am still deciding on my tattoo.
• I love the beach at night with roaring tides.
• I believe that with every negative comes a positive - everything happens for a reason.
• My favorite perfumes are Chanel Chance, Oscar de la Renta, Ralph Lauren Romance, Armani Code, Miss Dior Cherie... and the list goes on. I LOVE PERFUME.
• My favorite brands are Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Christian Dior and Prada. - I will never be able to afford them anytime soon...
• I love music.
• I love a good home cooked meal.
• I love cooking.
• My favorite flavours are Cherry, coconut, passionfruit and lychee.
• I love clothes and shoes - but then doesn't every girl?
• I have been dying my hair black for five years.
• My favorite T.V shows recently are LA and Miami INK, Satisfaction, Buffy, Angel, Sex and the City...
• I used to be a secret food channel addict... but now everyone knows my dirty little secret.
• I feel naked without a necklace and earings.
  
• I love chocolate and lollies, but I haven't actually bought myself chocolate in around two years... (I have eaten it though).
• I love boxed chocolate - Something so satisfying about selecting which one you want.
  
• I am a caffeine addict.
• I am an only child.
  
• I would rather eat dessert than dinner.
• I have learned from every single one of my mistakes.
• I LOVE MAKE-UP.
• There are very few people I love, trust and care for with all of my heart - They know who they are.
• I love kisses and cuddles.
• I love the French language and hope to learn it one day.
  
• I want to change and inspire at least one person.
  
• I am allergic to Lavender.
• I have hazel eyes, but in the sunlight they look like cat eyes.
• I like everything about food and nutrition.
  
• I try to learn something new everyday.
• I am equally introverted and extroverted.
  
• I love all animals.
• I can't do mathematics to save my life.
• But my English and writing skills make up for that.
• I have extremely neat hand writing.
• I have around four different styles of hand writing - you would never guess it is the same person.
  
• I love to read, finding a good book is the problem.
• If you ever get the chance read the book 'God Is A Bullet' and it doesn't make your heart race and change your reading life forever... I will refund you the cost.
• I can find beauty in almost everything.
• I love art.
• I dislike seafood - it freaks me out.
• I love cocktails.
  
• I rarely enjoy take away food.
• I believe you should cherish life.
• I could live at the zoo... so fascinating.
• I believe you can do anything you set your mind to - as long as your heart is in it.
• I write letters and notes to show my love and appreciation.
• In some aspects of my life I am a perfectionist.
  
• When I first meet people I tend to come across like a bitch. Really I am just shy. It takes me a while to warm up to people.
• Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.
• I try to be the best I can be.
• I try to further myself as a girlfriend, daughter and friend.
• If I say 'I love you' I mean it with everything I have.

Okay so this is a little bit about me... if I think of anything else I will add it over time.
enjoy
xxx

Quickly...

Okay so there is now three... well two and a half weeks left of this term at TAFE.
I am actually doing really well, have passed two assignments and am waiting on the results for the third. I had my first playgroup last week, and though it was rather overwhelming it was incredibly fun. The children are beautiful and the experience is amazing. I am still constantly working on assignments and studying but I am enjoying (almost) every second of it. Anyways, that's the TAFE update done.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Sometimes things happen whether they are good or bad that change your entire life forever. A part of me died last weekend, and to be honest it's not a bad thing. But a part of me also woke up.
Life is a constant journey... full of choices.
Sometimes we make the right one, sometimes we don't.
In the end we cannot change the past, but we can create our future.

I may expand on this post a bit later... I had a whole inspirational speech... and suddenly I have gone blank

xxx

TAFE

Heaps has happened.

Can't be bothered... actually more like I don't have the time to explain it all.
Briefly... I am at TAFE studying Certificate 3 in children's services.
Fun, interesting, overwhelming, exiting, boring, entertaining... all good describing words.
I will probably go back to this later and expand on my update.
The only downside is that I live and breathe the course ( I think it's my brain trying to take it all in) but I dream and think about children, toys, play doh, cognitive development, philosophy, Quality practice, regulations, sterilising, child development, baby cues... and you get my point.
It's frustrating.
Someone can be like " hey Jade how is your day going" and my brain wants to respond with "Carefully constructed activities and settings will help stimulate physical and cognitive development"
I didn't even know what the word cognitive meant until two weeks ago!

The course is actually awesome.
haha.
Can't wait for the practical.

that's it.
xxx

Just photos

Destiny

She smiles as the day smothers her face with warmth
His fingers somewhat digging into her back
They exchange a stare that burns into the soul
A kiss that lights the universe
Fate has taken charge
together they lay, together they share
Happiness lingers around them like an exquisite perfume
A song as beautiful as their emotions is secretly sung
They converse without a word
They adore each others presence
They are passion, without a single hint of lust
They are love in the purest form
They are Destiny
Forever.

...

You are the one mistake I never made...

Just a reminder.

Sometimes certain events make you realise where you fit in this world.
Sometimes they are good.
Sometimes they are bad.
But no matter what they are they lead you on your way to becoming who you are, and who you will become.

Treasure your memories, because in the end it's all you have.
of course in the days to come you will experience new things and live different moments, but in the end once the day is over, these things become a thought, a picture, a smell... within your head.
A memory.
beautiful.

Life will never be easy. But you are the only one who can make it what you want.
You are the only one who can change and create your existence.
We all have all the options in the world.
Stay true to yourself, be whoever you want to be.
Aspire to change the world, even if its in the smallest way possible.
Everything adds up in the end.

Appreciate every single person in your life.
Believe it or not, every person you come in contact with will change who you are.
Some people will be a part of who you are.
Make sure everyone knows just how much they mean to you.
Don't put it off, you may never get the chance again.

Take chances.
You never know how beautiful some things can turn out to be.
Taking a chance is not a waste of time.
It is a step forward.
If it doesn't work out, its another experience you may never forget.

Never let anyone tell you something is impossible.
They are lying.
Everything is possible if you truly believe in it.
Always believe, even if it just makes you smile.


This is life.
live it.

photo.

This is a photo my mama manipulated.

Yes, it is me.

I love the hair.

short post.

the end.

God is a bullet...

Short post.

I have a problem.
A very bad frustrating problem.

Since reading the book "God is a bullet" I cannot find another book that even somewhat measures up.
I start reading another book and within twenty pages I pick up the novel I love the most and start reading it again.
I can't stop - I have read it around seven times.
I am even happy to open the book to absolutely any page and just start reading from there.
Is this the end of reading for me?
Will I be a crazy old lady who knows nothing, but can read God is a bullet back to front - without actually having the book in front of me?
This is a very unhealthy love affair.


What am I meant to do now?

xxx

forever.

I will forever love you.
With all of my heart and my soul.
<3

Black and White

These are just a few of my recent photos.

october update.

So about five minutes ago I realised that my 17th birthday is next Wednesday... where the hell has the time gone?
For my birthday my beautiful boyfriend is buying me a tattoo, and after weeks of frustration trying to find the 'perfect' design, mama says "would you like me to design it for you?"... YES PLEASE! I would absolutely love to have my mothers artwork on me, that adds so much more depth and meaning to the tattoo itself, I am very exited. She is so talented too, I bet the design she draws up will be perfect, she knows what I like and we both like the same kind of artwork.


The last few weeks I have been spending a bit more time at home, and I have to say I feel very relaxed being there with my parents. I have had some amazing conversations with mum and dad and I feel connected again, if that makes sense. Just being there with them inspires me and makes me feel safe, they will never truly know how much they mean to me, how much they have done for me. I have learned everything I know from them and I thank them for guiding me into this world with my eyes open, instead of blindfolding me and hoping I find my way. They gave me my wings, showed me how to use them and then just at the right time, they let me fly... and just trust that I will always come back. That is it right there you know... I come back, not because I have to, but because I want to. They are truly the two most incredible people I know, and I am pretty sure I will never come across anyone else with the heart, soul, strength, passion and courage they have. I love them both with all of my heart and all I can hope is that I make them proud.


I have a confession to make. I am in love.
With Moxie my kitten // aka my brother.
He is absolutely adorable, he is so gentle.
I never thought I could love a cat so much, but I guess he proved me wrong.
He has such a hilarious personality, quite a character he is.
But most of all, I love the fact that my parents love him.
I see the small twinkle in each of their eyes when he is around.
I don't know what it is, but he has done something very special for them.

This weekend just past, Aaron and I went up to Ledge Point for a few days. We stayed in the Villa his parents rent out.
It was beautiful.
For one weekend I let everything crowding my mind go, and just relaxed.
I love spending time with Aaron, even if it's just us cuddling... not saying a word.
The love we share is very special.
He is very special.
Thank you bub for a weekend that I will treasure forever.

Last week I quit my job. I started at "guppy's to puppies" in Vic park, apart from it being a complete hassle to get there the owner was [with lack of a better word] a bitch.
She wouldn't let me have the day off, because she had to go and buy her daughter a new pony.
Okay step back for a second...
I am sick.
It is your business // not mine.
Your problem // not mine.
You basically abuse my father over the phone.

I hope you are not trying to buy your daughters love.

PLEASE REMOVE YOUR HEAD FROM YOUR ARSE.
That is all I have to say.

( by the way, I do realise life is not fair, and that the world isn't made up of daisies and candy canes, but this woman is ... I will leave it there. )

I think I am done here for now.
Much love
xoxox


Sometimes when the world looks black and white and you feel you cannot go on... look into your mothers, fathers, friends or lovers eyes - and I promise you will see the rainbow.

thoughts

Well I finally got the flu.
sniffle sniffle.

The other night I was looking out at the rain, and how the darkness and the clouds somewhat mask the entire world, and then the next morning I looked out at saw the same image but the sun was shining and the world seemed to blossom. It made me think about how this relates back to us human beings. It makes me think about how we all react in different situations and how different people can reveal something very different in us all. I mean if we are around negative people or things we can become shadows of who we once were.
We need to do what ever we can to not become zombies walking this earth.
We need to take advantage of all the possibilities and opportunities we are given.
But what if we slip up along the way? Is some part of us always going to be lost?
I think that is up to the individual themselves to decide.
And then this leads me into a different topic...
After talking to many different people and observing people in general, we are all dealing with our own personal demons. Everyone has something eating away at them, be it small or big. No one is entirely happy. Whether it is that they want something more when they already appear to have everything, or if they want something when they have nothing. Why can we never just appreciate what we have? I am not saying that everyone is depressed and unhappy, most of the time we may be happy and fine, but if triggered we all have that dark corner within us.
I'm not really going anywhere with this, It's just my personal observations, and maybe some day I will realise why I recorded this. Or maybe I wont, who knows?

Perhaps I think too much.

thats all
xoxo

July eh?

Well.well.well
It's July, its been ages since I made a post. I don't really have access to a computer very often, and if I do I forget to use it.
So anyways life has changed a bit lately, I'm pretty much staying at my Nana's place at the moment because of work and such, and I stay at Aaron's around four days a week (mainly the weekend). I still see mum and dad though, but because I don't see them as much as I used to I do miss them a lot. It's weird in a way. I miss being able to be myself like I could at home. They are the best parents in the world and even though I don't see them much I constantly think about them, and love them dearly.
On another note, seeing Aaron more than I used to has made me very happy, I love being with him and just being able to be myself. He is amazing and spending more time with him just makes me love him more and more each day. I love that boy.
But with all these changes my emotions have been a bit wobbly. I find that the routine of work sleep and eat gets to me after a little while, but I do love work, and I love the fact that I have found what I want to do with my life, in a way it makes me feel rather secure.
I haven't been feeling very well for the last couple of weeks, maybe I'm a bit run down, but the question is why I'm run down? Perhaps my emotions have gotten the better of me? Although considering how sick I was the last couple of years with migraines and such I have had a pretty good run this year. I don't even think I have had the flu yet. But my headaches have been pretty bad the past few weeks but I think it has something to do with my neck as well.
oh well, life goes on eh?

I bought a Nintendo DS lite on Thursday...impulse buy much?
No no I think It will keep me entertained and give me something productive to do. I haven't really had a chance to play it much yet though.
Aaron just gave me a new mobile, which I will get a sim card for on Thursday, because Thursday is pay day.

What else is new?
not much really, I have spent quite a bit of money on clothes and toiletries lately, but I didn't really have much clothes before and the clothes I did have no longer fit me so there. Thats my excuse... shhh... I love shopping, and clothes and all those wonderful things.

Anyways thats enough for now. Not really interesting but oh well.
I don't really have anything inspirational to say at this point in time. Maybe my words of wisdom are to just go with the flow. I have such control of my life at the moment, that in some ways its too structured. So when you get the chance, let everything go, be happy and just do what you want to do. Because come Monday morning, every thing goes back to normal and you have to fit into that tight little box we call life.

xoxo